Your life will be irrevocably changed if you choose to divorce, thus it is essential that you carefully plan your departure from the relationship. Are you prepared to make the first moves for a more promising future? The following advice will help you begin the process of getting a divorce while maintaining a better sense of composure and clarity.
Perform Your Due Diligence
If you’ve been stuck in a horrible marriage for a long time, you could be in such a rush to get out of it that you don’t give yourself enough time to thoroughly prepare for what your life will be like after the divorce is finalized. Take the time required to grasp the precise emotional, financial, and legal issues that you will be facing before you go forward:
Finding the answers to these questions that are applicable to your particular scenario entails locating the suitable specialists to lead you on your path. In order to do so, you must first identify these professionals.
It is a good rule of thumb to get some initial advice from an attorney who specializes in family law to find out what your rights are and what your strategic alternatives are. During this early period of arranging for a divorce, you could also desire to contact a therapist, and depending on your requirements, you might also wish to meet with a financial counselor or an accountant.
Get Your Act Together
Purchase a notepad and separate it into three distinct sections: one for the legal elements, one for the financial aspects of divorce, and one for the emotional aspects of the divorce. When you talk to the experienced members of your team, be sure to take notes. Because you are going to be taking in a lot of new knowledge very rapidly, you are going to want to go back and go over your notes later.
The possession of a notebook provided that it is kept in a secure location and away from prying eyes, will not assist you in experiencing a sense of being more organized and in control of the circumstance you are in. (Get into some other healthy patterns towards divorce.)
You have the option of using the Notes app on your phone or recording voice memos for yourself to keep track of important information. Be careful to check more than once to ensure that the phones of both you and your partner are not digitally linked in any manner (via a cloud service or shared ID, for example).
If you have children and will be required to co-parent with your soon-to-be ex, it is in your best interest to invest in a reliable calendar system (either on paper or via co-parenting software) that will assist you in keeping track of parenting time with your children.
Take Responsibility of Your Financial Situation
Develop your financial literacy even if your partner has been the one in charge of handling the family finances up to this point. This involves maintaining an accurate record of all expenditures, creating a budget for each month, and developing long-term goals for saving money and retiring comfortably.
Gathering all of your financial records, such as tax returns, bank statements, brokerage account statements, and credit card bills, will be one of the first chores that your attorney will give you. (For a checklist of the information you need to gather about your finances after a divorce, see our list.)
It is imperative that you get these, especially if you are unaware of their whereabouts. You and your attorney may collaborate to provide an estimate of the amount of spousal and child support that will either be owed to you or received by you. Managing your finances in a practical and efficient manner is the most crucial move you can take to empower yourself before, during, and after the divorce process.
Start the Process Civilly
The manner in which you initiate the divorce will determine how the proceeding will go from that point on. Avoid making errors that can cost you a lot of money throughout the divorce process, such as selecting a lawyer that is too pushy. If you go into your divorce with a bully attorney, there’s a good chance that you’re about to start a protracted and expensive war that will have devastating financial and psychological consequences for you and your children.
If you go into your divorce with a bully attorney, there’s also a good chance that you’re about to start a war. Therefore, give much thought to how you will initiate the procedure, and make an informed decision on the legal counsel you will retain. If you start the divorce process in the most civilized manner possible, you will increase the likelihood that it will be quick and inexpensive.
Getting divorced in a civilized and “low conflict” manner does not obligate you to maintain cordial relations with your former partner. It simply indicates that you and your spouse are prepared to put aside your feelings and approach the divorce in a businesslike manner with the goal of reaching a settlement. Learn more about the advantages of a divorce with a low level of fighting here.
Learn How to Deal With Life Stress
One of these four responses—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—is triggered in our sympathetic nervous system whenever we are confronted with a potentially dangerous situation (over-accommodating to avoid conflict). The first step in changing problematic habits is being aware of how you have a tendency to react. If you tend to remain in “fight” mode, you need to take some time to relax before taking any actions that you could later come to regret.
If you’re a “fawner,” you need to learn how to assert yourself so that your aggressive partner doesn’t stomp all over you. You may learn to self-regulate and operate more successfully by seeing a therapist, engaging in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), or following one of the many other methods for reducing the stress associated with divorce.
As you start to get ready for the divorce, one more word of caution: make sure that you only get your information from qualified specialists. It is not a good idea to take the advice of a layman, such as your best friend’s cousin who got divorced in a different state 10 years ago, or any other layperson. When you have decided that it is time to end your marriage, it is imperative that you seek the guidance of real professionals.
Are you on the verge of filing for divorce, or are you currently in the middle of the divorce process and have questions? There is hope because of us. You may obtain answers to your questions and a comprehensive game plan for moving ahead on your best alternatives in divorce by scheduling a consultation with one of our highly qualified family law lawyers as soon as today. You may reach us at (270) 558-4790, or you can click the icon at the footer of this page to send us an email.