When parents go to mediation, they often state that they want to share the time spent with their children in an equitable manner. If this is the case, then it’s likely that both the mother and the father are concerned about how they will maintain a positive relationship with their children after they have made the decision to divorce. Shared parenting is most likely to result in a positive experience for all members of the family engaged when both parents collaborate on the development of a workable strategy that respects the connection that already exists between each child and each parent.
In the vast majority of homes, the challenge that emerges is how to effectively execute a 50/50 timeline. When formulating a plan, one has to give serious consideration to a lot of different factors. It is not as straightforward as just dividing the seven days into two groups. It is important to take into consideration a number of different aspects, such as the work or school schedules of both the mother and the father, the activities that the children are involved in, the preparations that have been made for child care, and the distance that separates their homes from the schools that their children attend.
An ideal way to get started is by having a discussion about the current routine that the family adheres to as a unit. Every family is unique, and negotiations are likely to be more fruitful when they are centered on the practical considerations of a workable timetable that takes into account the activities that children participate in and the requirements that they have. However, every family is different, and every family is unique. It is also helpful to bear in mind the different needs of the children as they go through the different stages of childhood.
Depending on the particulars of the circumstance, this may need the insertion of sections to the agreement that describes the procedure to be followed in the event that there are any future adjustments to the timeline. Even though the parents should ultimately be the ones to make all of the choices, the views of the older children should be taken into consideration. It’s probable that as children become older, their thoughts on the schedule may change.
Communication is the bedrock upon which a healthy and fruitful co-parenting relationship is built. The effectiveness with which the communication is carried out has a direct bearing on the views that the children have on the new arrangement of the family. After having a discussion with the other adults in the family on the functioning of the family unit at the present time, the next subject that has to be addressed is the parents’ potential for working together in the future.
The children should think of wherever one of their parents resides as their home, and they should be involved in the process of establishing their new living space. The children’s home should be wherever one of their parents lives (or homes). This conversation will cover the following topics: how the weekdays and holidays will be divided, the times for pick-up and drop-off (the transition between homes), the rules that will be enforced in each home, and how the parents and children will communicate with one another when the children are at the home of the other parent.
Two Homes
It is nevertheless conceivable for both of these houses to be considered homes, despite the fact that the economics of certain situations may need one home to be smaller than the other. If there are going to be two homes that are completely identical to one another, then the language that is used to refer to the other properties has to be thoroughly researched and pondered.
The children should have a private area in each house where they can conduct their homework, as well as furniture and other personal objects that give them the idea that the house is really theirs. This will help them feel more at home there.
Guidelines
It is possible that the rules that are enforced in each family will be rather different from one another. This is due to the fact that there are numerous distinct ways to raise children. The parents need to have an open and honest conversation about how the rules will be implemented in each of their homes and, in the case that the regulations are different, how the parents intend to deal with the problem if it arises.
For instance, one parent may impose more stringent restrictions on their child’s use of the internet and phone than the other parent, or the two may adhere to conflicting viewpoints with respect to the sharing of the duties for housework.
Communication
It is important that all members of the family have access to the family schedule so that they can communicate effectively. As children become older, they are able to take on an increasing level of responsibility for the communication of their actions.
This ability develops together with their growing maturity (e.g. entering their own events or important dates on the family calendar). There is a vast selection of software that can be found online, and some of it is designed to assist families in better organizing their calendars.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, when parents treat one another with respect, it provides a more productive atmosphere for dealing with difficulties that may emerge within the family. This is especially true when talking to children about their feelings and concerns. The children are able to adjust to the newly reconstructed family in a manner that is more healthy if the children’s parents apply a conscientious and unified approach to parenting in both residences. This allows the children to adapt to the new family configuration in a way that is more positive.
